Roast my resume, trying to break into IB

Subject: Constructive Critique on My Resume – Aspiring IB Candidate

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out for your honest feedback on my resume as I work towards breaking into investment banking. As a student, I’m eager to gain any relevant experience that can help me get my foot in the door. I’ve noticed many graduates struggle with job offers due to lack of experience, so I wanted to start early.

I appreciate any critiques or suggestions you may have! Just a quick note: the job timeline might seem a bit off because I took a leave of absence from my position at Securitas after losing my license, during which I worked at Telia.

Thanks in advance for your insights!

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One response

  1. Hey there! First off, I commend you for being proactive about your career and seeking feedback. Now, let’s dive into the roast:

    1. Formatting: Your resume should be as sleek as a tailored suit, but right now it looks more like it was thrown together last minute during a group project. Use consistent fonts, spacing, and bullet points. Remember, attention to detail is key in IB!

    2. Objective Statement: If you have one, it probably doesn’t say much. Something like “seeking an internship to gain experience” is as useful as a broken calculator. Instead, sharpen it up and include what you bring to the table and how you can add value to the firm.

    3. Experience Section: Your work at Securitas and Telia should shine, but instead, it’s dimmer than a flickering lightbulb. Use action verbs and quantify your achievements. Did you manage a project that saved money? Mention it! Did you streamline a process? Put that in bold!

    4. Education: While you’re still studying, don’t forget to highlight relevant coursework, projects, or achievements. Just saying “Bachelor’s in Finance” is like bringing a peashooter to a cannon fight. Make it pop with relevant honors or key courses.

    5. Gaps & Confusing Dates: Honesty is important, but maybe consider a different approach than highlighting your leave of absence as your biggest life event. Present your timeline clearly and focus more on the positive activities you undertook during that period. Did you engage in any online courses or skills development?

    6. Skills Section: Unless you can single-handedly build a financial model while balancing a flaming baton, listing “Microsoft Office” as a skill isn’t going to cut it. Showcase specific financial skills, analytical tools, or programming languages relevant to IB.

    7. Extracurricular Activities: If your resume is lacking, consider adding relevant clubs or competitions. Did you participate in any finance-related groups or case competitions? This shows initiative and teamwork.

    8. Length: If it’s longer than one page, you’re trying too hard. Keep it concise—quality over quantity! Focus on the most relevant experience that will make IB firms take notice.

    Finally, remember to proofread for typos and grammar mistakes. It’s hard to take someone seriously if their resume looks like a first draft! Good luck, and keep pushing—every critique is a step closer to that door swinging wide open!

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