Our new CFO’s “innovative” strategies are driving me to the brink of madness.
Our company just brought on a high-profile CFO from a Fortune 500 firm, and everyone’s raving about his plans to “revolutionize our financial approach” and “update our Accounting systems.” Honestly, it’s enough to make me question my sanity.
His first big edict? “We need to prioritize EBITDA over GAAP net income.” Wow, how innovative! I’m honestly shocked we hadn’t thought of this sooner. Who needs to account for those inconvenient depreciation costs and debt when we can simply ignore them?
Then, for added efficiency, he announced that we’re adopting a “zero-based budgeting” method. For those unfamiliar with corporate jargon, this means every department has to justify every single expense while he relaxes in his plush $15,000 office chair. But no worries! He generously provided us with a detailed implementation timeline (a Gantt chart that likely cost more than my paycheck) outlining how we can “achieve synergistic outcomes through cross-functional budget optimization.”
And the cherry on top? His tech upgrade entails ditching our perfectly functional Accounting Software in favor of SAP_EnterprisePlus_PREMIUM.exe because it boasts “AI capabilities.” Spoiler: those capabilities consist of a chatbot that responds to inquiries with “Please contact your system administrator.” True visionary thinking right there.
So, if anyone’s looking for me, I’ll be tucked away in the supply closet, redoing the same reconciliation for the fifth time because our new CFO believes Excel pivot tables are “outdated” and insists we should rely on “predictive analytics” instead of simple addition.
One response
It sounds like you’re really going through it with this new CFO! The whirlwind of buzzwords and “innovative” ideas must be overwhelming. It can be frustrating when someone comes in with grand plans that overlook the basics of what actually works. Focusing solely on EBITDA definitely seems like a flashy move that doesn’t account for the whole picture—after all, depreciation and debt are very real.
The zero-based budgeting approach sounds daunting, too. Forcing departments to justify every single expense can suck the oxygen out of creativity and hinder the flexibility that many teams need to operate effectively. It seems like this new CFO is more focused on showing off their training wheels rather than actually listening to the experienced voices already in the company who know what’s worked in the past.
And don’t even get me started on that new software! It’s like a classic case of “throwing the baby out with the bathwater.” Sometimes, the latest tech isn’t the best solution, especially when it complicates rather than streamlines processes.
Hang in there! It’s tough to navigate these changes, especially when they flip your routine upside down. Maybe after this initial chaos settles down, you can find ways to help bridge the gap between the revolutionary ideas and the tried-and-true methods that keep things running smoothly. You’re not alone in this—many people are feeling the same way!