I’m reaching out for professional input from fellow accountants. I’m currently grappling with some deep personal issues that have made me feel disconnected from others, and I’m questioning whether I should continue pursuing my career path. My goal is to become a CFO.
Disclaimer: I am working with a psychiatrist and receiving therapy, but my current behavior, which has improved, still raises concerns. I’m looking for advice from professionals in our field.
At the moment, I hold a position in corporate “regional management,” but I’m not in a managerial role. I aspire to move into higher leadership positions, and I understand that in order to do this, it’s crucial to have positive relationships with colleagues. I’ve observed throughout my career that leaders who are disliked or untrusted often struggle to succeed. The dynamics of the office can be quite intricate, and while I believe in my abilities—many say I’m smart and disciplined—I feel like I’m losing my social skills over time.
As I approach my 30s, I’m facing the reality that life has contributed to my feelings of misanthropy. I find myself struggling with interactions: I have few friends and often keep to myself. I find little value in social interactions, and I deal with serious psychological challenges, including a diagnosed personality disorder. Although I feel empathy deeply, my ability to connect on a sympathetic level is lacking, and I experience frequent mood swings and intrusive thoughts.
Despite wanting to forge connections with colleagues, I find it difficult to trust others and form emotional bonds. While I can adapt and blend in, pretending to be someone I’m not is frustrating.
With an MBA on the horizon in the next 12-16 months, I’m left wondering: Should someone like me be in leadership roles? Or even in positions where I could be responsible for others? I often feel like an anomaly among others who face similar struggles. Am I overthinking this? I recognize that effective leadership is more than just managing tasks; it requires rapport and trust, which I fear may be out of reach for me.
One response
It’s clear that you’re grappling with some complex and deeply rooted issues regarding your mental health and social interactions. Given your situation and aspirations, here are a few considerations for your journey:
Acknowledge Your Progress: First, it’s important to recognize your journey so far. Seeking professional help and acknowledging your feelings is a crucial step. Improvement, no matter how incremental, deserves recognition.
Focus on Leadership Skills: While technical skills are critical in Accounting and finance, soft skills such as emotional intelligence, communication, and empathy are equally important in leadership. Consider working on these skills deliberately. There are many resources available—books, courses, and workshops—that focus on developing these abilities.
Build a Support Network: It’s understandable that you may have difficulty trusting others, but having a support system can be invaluable. Explore avenues to connect with peers in a more structured environment, such as professional organizations or networking groups. This can help you feel less isolated and provide opportunities to build relationships.
Consider Your Work Environment: Some workplaces are more conducive to your personality and working style than others. Pursue environments that might align better with your strengths and interests, where the emphasis is more on results than social interaction.
Be Honest About Your Struggles: If appropriate, sharing your journey with trusted coworkers or mentors (without oversharing) can help build rapport. People often appreciate authenticity, and you might find that others have faced their own challenges.
Set Realistic Goals: Becoming a CFO is an ambitious goal. Break it down into smaller, achievable steps. Focus on short-term goals that can lead to building relationships and leadership experience, even if they feel challenging.
Self-Care: Continue prioritizing your mental health. Consistency in therapy and medication is crucial. If current strategies aren’t effective, don’t hesitate to discuss adjustments with your psychiatrist.
Explore Alternate Perspectives: Sometimes, speaking with people outside of your industry can offer fresh insights and help you see that many successful leaders have faced their own challenges.
Consider Coaching: A mentor or executive coach could provide personalized guidance and support tailored to your specific situation.
Remember, feeling out of step with your emotions and others doesn’t define your value in the workplace. Many leaders have their own unique struggles, and you could bring a different perspective to your role. Ultimately, whether you pursue this path depends on your comfort level and willingness to navigate these challenges. The right environment and support can make a significant difference.