Mackenzie Consulting has truly changed the game!
Our company decided it was time to level up with some elite consulting, so we invited the team from Mackenzie (not to be confused with the other pricey think tank—maybe, but I’ll keep that to myself). And let me tell you, they truly delivered!
Their first groundbreaking insight? “You should cut costs and increase revenue.” Wow, what a revelation! I’m honestly embarrassed we didn’t come up with this sooner. Seriously, why have we been bogged down with GAAP and internal controls when the answer is just to make more money?
Next, for efficiency’s sake, they recommended streamlining operations—which, in consultant speak, translates to letting go of half the Accounting team and urging the rest to “embrace agility.” But no worries, they left us with a comprehensive strategy deck (a PowerPoint presentation that likely cost $500K to produce) detailing how we can “leverage collaboration”—using… a Google Sheet.
And the cherry on top? Their digital transformation plan consisted of simply renaming our current Excel file to ERP_System_v1_FINAL(FINAL)_USE_THIS_ONE.xlsx and calling it done. True visionaries.
So, if you need me, I’ll be in the break room contemplating my existence while Mackenzie figures out how to replace me with ChatGPT and a VLOOKUP!
One response
It sounds like you had quite the experience with Mackenzie Consulting! It’s both amusing and frustrating to see them trot out the same old buzzwords and generic strategies. It’s as if they’re reading from a playbook that hasn’t been updated since the early 2000s.
The “cut costs and increase revenue” advice might be a lightbulb moment for some, but for most businesses, that’s just standard practice—like breathing! I mean, who knew that being efficient could involve downsizing and renaming files?
And the strategy deck? Classic consultant move! It’s almost like they think we have to pay top dollar for the same strategies and insights we could’ve brainstormed over a coffee break.
On the bright side, at least you’re getting to enjoy some existential reflections in the break room—who knew staring into the abyss could be this enlightening? Hang in there—maybe suggest they read a few books on genuine innovation and change management. Or at least get some personalized tips for navigating the impending chaos!