Impostor Syndrome & CPA License
Nag-aral ako online para sa CPA Licensure Exam at sobrang distracted ako, kaya’t kalahati lang ng syllabus ang na-cover ko at hindi ko pa ito na-master. Mahina ang foundation ko sa kolehiyo — average student lang na nag-sasarili. Ngayon, natututo na ako, pero pagkatapos ng quiz o exam, para akong nagka-amnesia. Kahit na nakakuha ako ng magandang score, kapag pina-discuss ang concepts, natutulala ako dahil iniisip ko lang na, “Basta, ganyan ang ginagawa, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit.”
Nagtake ako ng Board Exam na ang dala lang ay dasal, mukha talaga akong matapang. Nagtantrums ako kay Lord kung bakit ako ginawang ganitong tao — mukhang masipag lang sa simula, kaya mga unang topics sa syllabus lang ang na-cover ko. Ang lagi kong dasal: “Gawin mo akong CPA kahit di pa ako ready, saka ko na lang panindigan pag nandiyan na.”
Nakapasa ako! Ngayon, tatlong buwan na akong nakatambay sa bahay at para akong tinatakbuhan ng sarili kong multo. Ang pamilya ko, mga kaklase, at mga kaibigan, sobrang bilib sa akin dahil sa baba ng passing rate pero nakalusot ako. Akala nila sobrang sipag ko mag-aral — pero HINDI!
Mas kinakabahan ako isipin ang job interviews at actual work kumpara noong nagtake ako ng Board Exam. Chill lang ako noon dahil handa na akong bumagsak at mag-review ulit.
Ngayon, nahihirapan akong mag-apply ng trabaho dahil sa mga clerical jobs na gustong pasukan — sinasabi nilang overqualified ako. Ayaw ko ng anumang accounting-related na trabaho dahil pakiramdam ko ay mabubuking ang hindi ko talagang kaalaman. Literal na “no touch” ako sa mga huling topics ng syllabus, WALA AKONG IDEA! Hindi ito pwedeng mangyari dahil nga mas may alam ang mga undergrad.
Kailangan ko ng advice at isang awakening, dahil kinukulong ako ng takot na magmukhang ignorant.
Paano ko mapapanindigan ang titulong ito? Ang bigat dalhin nito, lalo na’t hindi ko naman na-build ang kakayahang i-handle ito.
One response
First of all, congratulations on passing the CPA Board Exam! That’s a huge accomplishment, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed by the expectations that come with it, especially considering your self-doubts and the pressure of impostor syndrome.
It’s important to recognize that many people, even those who seem highly competent, feel the same way you do. Impostor syndrome is common, especially in fields that demand a lot of knowledge and expertise like Accounting. You’ve achieved something significant, and it’s okay to allow yourself to feel proud of that.
Here are a few pieces of advice to help you navigate this situation:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Understand that it’s normal to feel unprepared or uncertain, especially after such a major transition. Recognizing these feelings is the first step in addressing and overcoming them.
Focus on Continuous Learning: Since you feel that your foundation isn’t as strong as you’d like, consider taking additional courses or attending workshops to strengthen your skills. Many organizations offer refresher courses for CPAs that can help you get more comfortable with the material.
Start Small: If you’re hesitant about Accounting work, look for entry-level positions or internships that will allow you to gradually build your confidence. Even if it’s clerical work, it can ease you into the environment and help you gain practical experience without the pressure of being fully responsible for Accounting tasks right away.
Mentorship: Seek out a mentor in the field. Having someone who can guide you and share their experiences can be incredibly reassuring. They can help you understand the reality of the job and provide you with tips to navigate your concerns.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. You may not have all the answers or feel entirely ready, but that’s okay. Everyone’s learning journey is different, and you’re not alone in how you feel.
Prepare for Interviews: Recognize that job interviews are not just about testing your knowledge but also about assessing your willingness to learn. Be honest about your self-assessment, and highlight your desire to grow and your strong work ethic.
Connect with Others: Join professional organizations or online forums where you can connect with other CPAs. Sharing your experiences and hearing from others who have felt the same way can be validating and uplifting.
Remember, you earned your CPA title, and it doesn’t define your worth or abilities. Embrace the journey ahead, and don’t hesitate to take it one step at a time. You’re capable of more than you realize. Good luck, and take care of yourself!