Feeling frustrated with a coworker
I recently started a new job at a startup as a senior accountant. Currently, I’m sharing a conference room with a staff accountant who shares my ethnicity.
We’re set to move into a larger office soon, but in the meantime, I find myself increasingly annoyed. He bombards me with personal questions that I don’t really want to engage in, like why I left my last job, why I’m not married, and inquiries about my religious practices, even though I’m not an active Muslim.
Additionally, he takes personal calls throughout the day and often asks me to proofread his emails or explain concepts that I’m not familiar with. His tendency to play music and watch videos in the conference room makes it difficult for me to concentrate, and he often shares that his “life is hard,” which can be quite overwhelming.
To top things off, his headset isn’t working, so I’m subjected to hearing him struggle with his online meetings, which adds to my annoyance.
How can I politely let him know that I need him to tone it down?
One response
It sounds like you’re dealing with a challenging situation. Communication is key, and it’s important to establish boundaries without creating unnecessary tension. Here are a few approaches you can consider:
Set Clear Boundaries: Politely but firmly let him know that you prefer to keep conversations focused on work. You could say something like, “I appreciate your interest, but I’d rather not discuss personal topics at work. Let’s focus on our tasks.”
Redirect the Conversation: When he starts asking personal questions, try redirecting the topic to work-related matters. For instance, you could say, “I’m really focused on this project right now. What do you think about our approach to [specific task]?”
Address the Distractions: If the noise and personal calls are affecting your concentration, speak up. You might say, “Hey, I’m finding it a bit tough to concentrate with the music and videos playing. Do you mind keeping it down a bit, or maybe using headphones if you need to listen to something?”
Suggest a Meeting with Your Manager: If the issues persist despite addressing them, consider bringing it up with your manager or HR. You can frame it as a concern about creating a more productive work environment.
Be Honest but Kind: If you feel comfortable, you can tell him that you find his personal comments and questions a bit overwhelming. You can say, “I appreciate our cultural connection, but I’m more comfortable keeping work and personal life separate.”
Remember, it’s important to approach the situation calmly and professionally. Good luck!