Navigating the Challenges of a First-Year Associate: A Personal Reflection

As the clock ticks down to the end of my first year as an associate in a Big Four tax firm, I find myself in an unexpectedly overwhelming position. Currently working from home, I’m nestled in my bed and feel a wave of emotions crashing over me. The reality of my situation has become increasingly difficult to bear, particularly as I look around and see that I am the last remaining first-year associate in my team.

When I joined the firm, I was one of five new associates, but circumstances have changed drastically. Many of my peers have been reassigned to different groups or faced layoffs, leaving me to navigate the complexities of this demanding environment alone.

My workload has skyrocketed, with my calendar packed with 40+ hours per week, and often exceeding 50 hours—and at times reaching 70 to 80 hours. As if that wasn’t daunting enough, I just received notifications that I will be taking on two additional clients, further complicating what is already a packed schedule.

On top of the pressures of the job, the pursuit of my CPA certification has proven to be particularly challenging. I find myself gearing up to take the AUD section for the fourth time next Monday. Recently, I received my third FAR score, and despite feeling more prepared than ever, the preliminary results indicate a decline of 17 points from my previous attempt.

In all honesty, I’m at my breaking point. The exhaustion is palpable, and the next few months loom ahead like an unrelenting storm. Yet, there is a flicker of determination within me—I don’t want to be seen as someone who falters before reaching the next milestone of senior associate. The job market is far from favorable, and the thought of pivoting to a new career path in such uncertain times is daunting.

However, I must confront the overwhelming frustration and despair that accompany my journey. It’s clear that I need to take a step back and evaluate my goals, my passion for Accounting, and my overall well-being.

This moment serves as an important reminder: the journey through the early stages of a demanding career is riddled with challenges, and feeling lost is a part of the process. As I move forward, I hope to find clarity and support, ultimately deciding what path to take for my future.