Navigating the Challenges of a First-Year Associate: A Personal Reflection

As I sit at home, curled up in bed, I find myself overwhelmed with emotion. As a first-year associate in a Big Four Accounting firm, I’m nearing the end of my inaugural year in July, and it hasn’t been the experience I had envisioned. In fact, I’m now the only remaining first-year associate in my group. The landscape around me has dramatically changed, with several of my colleagues having been reassigned or laid off. What started as a cohort of five has rapidly diminished.

Currently, my schedule is daunting—40 hours a week is the baseline, but with the addition of several clients, I anticipate weeks marching up to 50, 70, or even 80 hours. The recent emails notifying me of my involvement with new clients reflect a growing workload that isn’t adequately captured in my current schedule.

On top of this, I’m grappling with the CPA exam. On Monday, I’ll be sitting for the AUD section for the fourth time. I received my third FAR score recently, and despite my optimism during the exam, I was disheartened to discover a drop of 17 points from my previous attempt after reviewing the code. It’s beyond discouraging—it’s exhausting.

The truth is, I’m at a turning point and feeling utterly drained. The next few months loom ahead like a daunting mountain, and I can’t shake the fear of not making it to senior associate. The job market is challenging, amplifying my anxiety about the future of my career in Accounting. As I contemplate my path moving forward, I’m left questioning my passion for this profession. It’s a heavy burden to bear, especially during such a turbulent time.

This journey has been a profound reminder of the importance of self-care, resilience, and seeking support. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way; many individuals in the industry face similar struggles. It’s crucial to take a step back, breathe, and remind ourselves why we embarked on this journey in the first place. Although the road ahead feels rocky, I am determined to find my way through this and embrace whatever lies ahead. If you find yourself in a similar position, know that you have the strength to navigate these challenges, and it’s okay to seek help along the way.