Navigating Challenges as a First-Year Associate in Tax: A Personal Reflection

As I sit in my home office, wrapped in a blanket, I can’t help but feel a wave of emotions crashing over me. It’s hard to explain the turmoil of being a first-year tax associate in one of the Big Four firms, especially with the end of my first year approaching in July. Unfortunately, I find myself as the only remaining first-year associate in my group, as the rest have either been reassigned to different teams or faced layoffs.

When I started, there were five of us, and now I’m left navigating this tumultuous journey alone. My current workload is daunting, hovering around 40 hours per week but often exceeding 50, and I’ve even faced weeks with 70 to 80 hours. Just when I thought I could breathe a little easier, I received notifications that I will be adding two new clients to my responsibilities—without a clear indication of how to manage my time.

On top of the demanding work schedule, I’m also preparing for the CPA exams, which have proven to be a significant source of stress. I’m gearing up to take the Audit (AUD) section for the fourth time this coming Monday—a prospect that fills me with dread. I recently received my score for the Financial Accounting and Reporting (FAR) section, and despite feeling more prepared than ever, my preliminary score indicates a troubling drop of 17 points from my last attempt. It’s disheartening, to say the least.

I’m at a crossroads. The exhaustion is overwhelming, and I know the upcoming months are likely to be incredibly challenging. Yet, the thought of falling short of achieving senior associate status weighs heavily on my mind, especially considering the current job market’s uncertainty. There’s a looming question in my thoughts: Do I still want to pursue a career in Accounting?

This journey has been filled with challenges that I never anticipated, and it’s okay to admit that I’m feeling lost and upset. However, as I reflect on my situation, I recognize that it’s essential to seek support, whether from fellow associates, mentors, or mental health resources.

If you’re in a similar situation, my message to you is this: You’re not alone. It’s okay to acknowledge the difficulty of the path you’re on. Take things one step at a time and remember that your well-being is paramount. The road ahead may be daunting, but with determination and the right support, it’s possible to find a way forward