Is it wrong for me, as a guy, to seek a partner who is financially equal to or better off than I am?
I’m a 28-year-old man, and I’ve been looking for a partner who meets that criteria. However, whenever I share this viewpoint, some people tell me it’s unrealistic. I’ve been told that women typically prefer men who earn more, and that as a man, I should be willing to marry someone who is less financially stable and support her and her family.
The reason I have these criteria is rooted in my own experiences with financial struggle. Growing up, I faced pressure from my parents to contribute to the household and make more money. Thankfully, I’ve secured a full-time job after graduating and have started making some returns from the stock market, which has alleviated some of that pressure. Nonetheless, I still feel insecure about my financial past and want to avoid any future financial burdens. Despite having an above-average income from my job and investments, I often feel like just getting by is a challenge. The thought of having to provide for a partner, her family, and eventually kids—while also being there for my parents—feels overwhelming.
So, am I wrong for wanting to date and marry someone who is financially equal to or better than me?
One response
Your feelings and preferences about wanting to date someone who is financially equal or better are completely valid. Relationships are partnerships, and having financial stability is an important aspect of that partnership for many people. Given your experiences and background, it makes sense that you would want to avoid being in a situation where financial strain could impact your relationship, especially if you’ve felt the weight of financial responsibility in the past.
It’s important to find someone who aligns with your values and aspirations, and financial compatibility can certainly be a part of that equation. While some may argue that men should be the primary providers, contemporary relationships are increasingly moving away from traditional gender roles, making it perfectly acceptable to seek an equal partnership.
Ultimately, every relationship is unique, and it’s crucial to communicate openly with potential partners about your expectations and desires. By doing so, you can find someone who shares your views and supports you in your journey. Don’t let others’ opinions weigh you down; focus on what feels right for you and what will make you happy in a relationship.