I really need to get this off my chest.
For the first two years of college, I was a dedicated student. Then, during my junior year, I fell into a deep depression without really understanding why. Coupled with my severe ADHD, my grades took a serious hit—I ended up with straight Cs and even two Ds in my senior year, dragging my GPA down to 2.8. Now, I feel completely lost; I’m struggling with self-hatred and constantly wishing I could turn back time.
I’ve always prioritized my academics and worked hard to get into my desired business school, but I didn’t make the most of my opportunities. While I never aimed for investment banking or high finance, maintaining a decent GPA was important to me.
Now, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without feeling regret. I lose sleep over my situation, and although I’m not overly concerned about immediate recruiting, I’m anxious about getting into the graduate programs I’m interested in later on.
It’s bizarre—no matter how happy I try to be, I can’t shake the feeling of being a failure, especially when I compare myself to others. It’s even affecting my dating life. My girlfriend is on her way to becoming a doctor, and I can’t help but feel unworthy of her. I know it sounds strange, but I often doubt my potential.
I realize I can’t change what’s happened, and I’m fully committed to working harder going forward. Yet, I know my low GPA will linger in the back of my mind. I also struggle with confidence during interviews because I feel like employers deserve candidates with stronger academic records.
I’m reaching out to see if anyone here has experienced something similar and can offer advice on how to cope. I’m even considering therapy; I’m no longer in a depressive state, but these feelings are severely impacting my ability to enjoy life. I look at my parents and feel guilty that their son, whom they love so much, hasn’t made them proud—even though they say they are.
One response
First of all, I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through. It sounds like you’re feeling a lot of pressure and disappointment, both from within and from the expectations you perceive from others. It’s important to remember that your worth isn’t solely defined by your grades or GPA; you are so much more than a number on a transcript.
Experiencing a deep depression and battling ADHD are significant challenges, and it’s understandable that they impacted your academic performance. Recognizing that you were struggling is a significant first step, and seeking help—like considering therapy—can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can help you work through these feelings of inadequacy and develop strategies to build your confidence.
Try to focus on the progress you’ve made, even if it feels small. You’re capable of hard work and resilience, and those qualities will serve you well moving forward. Instead of fixating on what you perceive as failures, think about how you can leverage your unique experiences and strengths in both your career and personal life.
Also, consider reaching out to your professors or mentors for guidance on how to enhance your profile for graduate programs or job applications. They can provide insight into how to highlight your strengths beyond GPA. Additionally, engaging in extracurricular activities, internships, or volunteer work can provide valuable experience and help shift focus away from grades.
Lastly, remember that everyone has their own journey, and comparing yourself to others, especially when you’re feeling low, can be damaging. It’s okay to seek support from friends or family, and sharing your feelings can often lighten the load. You are not alone in this, and it’s admirable that you’re willing to advocate for yourself and seek the help you deserve. Take it one step at a time, and be kind to yourself along the way. You’ve got this!