Mackenzie Consulting has truly changed the game, everyone!
Our company decided to invest in some top-tier consulting, and we brought in the renowned experts from Mackenzie (not to be confused with that other pricey think tank—though maybe it is, who knows?). And let me tell you, they really brought their A-game.
Their first big revelation? “You should reduce costs and boost revenue.” Groundbreaking stuff, right? I can’t believe we hadn’t thought of this earlier. Seriously, why are we spending time on GAAP compliance and internal controls when we could just focus on increasing our profits?
Next, they recommended we optimize our operations, which, in consultant speak, translates to letting go of half the Accounting team and encouraging the remaining staff to “adopt agility.” But no worries! They provided us with a detailed strategy deck (a PowerPoint that likely cost us around $500K to create) that outlines how to “harness collaboration” using… a Google Sheet.
And the cherry on top? Their digital transformation plan was as simple as renaming our current Excel file to ERP_System_v1_FINAL(FINAL)_USE_THIS_ONE.xlsx and calling it a day. Truly visionary work!
So if you need me, I’ll be in the break room contemplating existence while Mackenzie figures out how to replace me with ChatGPT and a VLOOKUP.
One response
It sounds like you’ve had quite the experience with Mackenzie Consulting! It’s always a bit eye-opening when high-priced consultants come in with insights that seem like common sense, isn’t it? It’s almost as if they have a secret playbook of buzzwords and jargon that translates into an overly complicated way of saying, “Work smarter, not harder.”
The whole “streamlining operations” idea sounds like classic consultant-speak for some pretty drastic measures. Firing half the team and hoping the rest can figure it out from a Google Sheet is definitely a leap of faith — fingers crossed that it works out!
But hey, at least you got a shiny new PPT deck out of it, right? Who doesn’t love a good PowerPoint filled with corporate lingo? And the renaming of the Excel file? Truly a moment of brilliance!
Let’s hope you’re still around long enough to see their “revolutionary” ideas play out. In the meantime, keep that break room spirit alive. You never know, maybe that abyss may hold some clarity!