Navigating Challenges as a First-Year Associate: A Personal Journey
As I sit here, working from home in the comfort of my bed, I find myself overwhelmed with emotion. I’m a first-year associate in tax at one of the leading Big Four firms, and as I approach my one-year anniversary in July, I can’t help but feel lost and uncertain about my future.
My experience has been significantly different from what I expected. In our large office, I started with four other new associates, but I’m now the sole first-year associate in my group. While my colleagues have either transitioned to different departments or faced layoffs, I’ve persevered, pouring my time into long hours—often exceeding 40 hours a week and not infrequently hitting the 50+ hour mark. Just last week, I received notification that I would be assigned two additional clients, although my schedule has yet to reflect this change.
On top of the work demands, I am also contending with the CPA examinations. I will be retaking the AUD exam on Monday for the fourth time, and I recently received my FAR exam results. Despite feeling more prepared than ever, I was disheartened to see that my score dropped by 17 points from my previous attempt.
In this moment, I feel utterly drained. The thought of the months ahead fills me with dread, as I anticipate what may very well be a grueling journey. Yet, I grapple with the fear of not advancing to a senior position, especially given the current job market’s uncertainties. The thought of leaving Accounting altogether crosses my mind, as I wrestle with disappointment and frustration.
As I share my thoughts, I remind myself that others may be feeling similarly. It’s crucial to acknowledge these struggles in our profession and seek support where available. I’m determined to push through this challenging chapter, but I hope to emerge not just successful in my career, but also fulfilled and happy in my choices. Sharing this experience is a step toward understanding that we are not alone in our challenges, and there is always a path forward, even in the darkest of times.
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