Navigating the Challenges of a First-Year Associate in Tax

As I sit here working from home, wrapped in my blanket, I find myself reflecting on the tumultuous journey of my first year as an associate in one of the Big Four Accounting firms. As I approach the end of this year in July, I’ve come to a crossroads that leaves me feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about my future.

In my group, I once stood alongside four other first-year associates, but circumstances have drastically changed. Due to internal shifts and layoffs, I now find myself as the only newcomer in our team. The pace has picked up significantly, with my schedule stretching out to accommodate over 40 hours each week—often trending toward 50, 70, and in some cases, even 80 hours. Recently, I received notifications about two new clients being added to my workload, which hasn’t even been reflected on my current schedule yet.

On top of the demanding work hours, I am grappling with the CPA exams. I am set to take the AUD exam for the fourth time on Monday. Just recently, I received the disheartening news about my FAR exam score; despite feeling more prepared than ever, my preliminary score indicates a drop of 17 points from my last attempt. The weight of these exams, combined with an intense workload, is exhausting.

As I consider the next few months, which promise to be incredibly challenging, I grapple with feelings of defeat. The pressure to succeed—especially in a precarious job market—feeds my anxiety. I don’t want to be the one who doesn’t reach the senior level, yet the looming question remains: is this the path I truly want to continue on?

It’s difficult to navigate these emotions when passion for my field feels overshadowed by exhaustion and uncertainty. I find solace in reaching out to peers and seeking guidance, reminding myself that many have traversed this daunting path before. Though the moments of doubt are heavy, I am committed to charting a way forward, whether that means perseverance in Accounting or reevaluating my career aspirations.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that you are not alone. The first year in Accounting can be a whirlwind, but taking small steps and seeking support can pave the way for clarity and direction in your professional journey.